Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
is it fun? or sober?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
