That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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