What did we do last night that was yellow?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
