are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
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