I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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