Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
