i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
