Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
It's official drugs can't kill me
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize