physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
