dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
