Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
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