Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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