Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
