i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize