For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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