maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
