Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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