1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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