oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Pants are for mortals
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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