I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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