Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
