Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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