i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
