And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
