Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
