I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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