1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
