I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize