Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Randomize
