I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
