I don't think brook has ever known best
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
