I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
