He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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