we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
