he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
