mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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