just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
