Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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