You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
