Are we in a gay sports bar?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
