saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
