So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
so let's talk penis.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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