Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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