Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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