I want to have your abortion
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
