No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
