She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
