how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
