Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
