I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
