we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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