I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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