My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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