Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
