her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
