I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
