i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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