Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
