I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
