i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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