He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
