can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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