I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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