my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
