he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
